It’s kind of a right of passage. Every couple is bound to have some if not all of these fights before the day dawns. The lead up to the happiest day of your lives is possibly one of the most stressful periods you will ever spend together but theres nothing wrong with a good old fight ! Just remember to keep the lines of communication open and talk it out if you arent happy with any element of the planning process.
FIGHT 1 – “Whatever you think “
So youre sitting at the table with pinterest on the laptop, some wedding site on your ipad and a mountain of wedding magazines that you’ve carefully marked the pages of interest. Your other half is on the couch , with a Netflix marathon underway and you ask a question you feel is really important and he/she replies “Whatever you think”. Aaaagh. Way wrong answer. This is like infuriating an already stamping bull. The question demands an answer. Be afraid….. They key is to pretend your interested even if youre not. True you don’t relly care if the flowers on the favour boxes are blush or gold but don’t let your other half know that. The 2 minutes it takes to articulate an answer to the question will save you a night of arguing !
FIGHT 2 – “How much for shoes ??”
The dreaded Budget fight. Be aware that this isn’t a once off fight, this will be the hot topic of argument through the course of planning. One of you will see the point in spending big on the trimmings when the other would rather put it to use as a round of drinks for the guests. Don’t panic. It’s perfectly natural. Men for instance don’t understand designer shoes and their price tag so that’s one lot of explaining that is a waste of your breath ! So compromise. Both give a bit on something you want, spend a little less on one area to give to another!
FIGHT 3 –“ You’re inviting who??”
So he married the next door neighbour when they were 7 years old , the fact that’s shes married with kids now doesn’t matter, you’re more obsessed with the fact that shes hot and his ex and on his guest list ! Firstly cop on ! Your partner had a life before meeting you, just as you had before meeting him. Pretty sure that 7 year olds getting fake married wasn’t up there with the the greatest love stories told so you’ve nothing to worry about ! Guest list fights are common and so normal. Theres going to be people on both sides that you invite that maybe you don’t see often, maybe theres a list of guests your parents want to invite, it’s all part and parcel of weddings so just go with it! Make your primary list between you and then depending on numbers you can afford, choose extras each. Again its all about compromise !
FIGHT 4 – “My cousin twice removed wants to be my bridesmaid !”
Choices for the bridal party can cause fights early on. Maybe the bride has dreamed of the big entourage since she was a little girl and can’t possibly get married without every cousin she has at her side , while the groom is happy with his best mate and brother by his side. Either way you have to come to common ground and decide on numbers. From a financial point of view you need to be realistic to your budget. An extra member is a dress/suit, shoes, jewellery, gift, probably accomodation that you have to allow for and every bridesmaid needs a corresponding groomsman. So talk it out and do what feels right for you both.
FIGHT 5 – The interfering mother fight
No matter how many times you make your plans known, his/her mother keeps pushing stuff you don’t want. You’re happy with your civil ceremony and she thinks you are letting everyone down by not getting married in a church, the expression “ the poor nanny will be turning in her grave” has been thrown out a few times. Heres where you both need to be united and invest in good earplugs. Its your day, your way. People who love you will respect your decisions and not put extra pressure so keep firm and keep your lines of communication with each other open !
FIGHT 6 – “He can’t sit there!!”
The famous seating chart fight ! Lets stop this before it starts. Do you want assigned seating ? Are your families easy to get on with? Is there family feuds that affect who sits with who ? Ask yourself these questions and decide whether a seating chart is actually for you. Some couples are opting for a table of place cards where your guest can take their name and pick their seat, others opt for a structured plan. Find what suits the family dynamics best. Don’t let it be a worry source for you both. Either way people will chat and have a laugh so don’t get too stressed about it
FIGHT 7 – “You enjoy yourself, while I stick bloody favour boxes together”
This fight will probably take place when he comes in from a night out with the lads, just a quiet few is what he said, but its 2am and he’s falling in the door. You have been home all night sticking flowers to favour boxes cursing him and he walks in all smiley with a spice bag and you actually feel a murderous urge erupt in you !! This common fight is the old division of responsibility craic again and usually happens towards the end when the stress is building. So if he’s out for the night phone your bridesmaids, open a few bottles and get the girls around to help. You will get through it quickly with a few laughs !
FIGHT 8 – “Why didn’t we just book Vegas”
A few weeks before the big day there usually is so much stress that arguments can erupt over the smallest things and they will probably at some point end in you both asking why the hell you didn’t just elope ! You need to pull it together at this point and get it into perspective. No matter how tough the planning process is you have worked hard to have the best wedding day possible and to share that wonderful experience with your loved ones, who really don’t care what colour your cake is, they are there for YOU and not the trimmings . so deep breath, hug it out and remember that in a short time you will be marrying the love of your life so stay happy !!